


It Took Lifetimes

by ezekiels



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezekiels/pseuds/ezekiels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana meets the man who, since she was a little girl, she dreamed would kill her. Modern AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Took Lifetimes

  
_I will wait a lifetime  
And I would wait for you_

 

The first time she saw him, Morgana knew. She knew he was the man she had nightmares of since she was a child. He would be the one to kill her, she was certain of it. But, watching him from her window, she could not help but smile. Perhaps she was losing her mind but she thought he looked almost handsome.

***

The second time Morgana saw him, she learned his name.

She was standing outside, trying to pretend that she couldn't hear Arthur and Uther arguing inside. Snow was falling and, like always, she hadn't brought much outside with her to keep her warm.

She was just beginning to shiver when she spotted him walking along the forest line in the distance. He was wrapped tightly in a wrinkled jacket, the sort that Arthur would make fun of the man for if the two ever met.

He was not alone. A beautiful dark skin girl walked ahead of him. Her dark hair was tied with a kind of looseness Morgana couldn’t help but admire as the woman playfully made her way up a rocky mess in the middle of the path.

It was then that he froze.

Morgana caught her breath, the smile she had on quickly disappearing.

He did not move for a long moment, just stared off after the darker woman, his eyes shifting as if he could hear every movement around her.

And then he turned towards the house.

Morgana dropped down onto her knees, hiding behind the solid stone railing. Her heart pounded and her hands began to shake. What if he had seen her? What if he came this way?

"Morgana, what on earth are you doing?"

Morgana jumped, spinning around to see Arthur looking down at her with raised eyebrows.

"N-Nothing," she said quickly and stood. She did not look back at she hurried into the house, too scared that he might still be looking her way.

***

The third time that Morgana saw him was also the first time she spoke to him.

She had come downstairs to get a glass of water when she came across him in the kitchens. He was chopping something, what she didn't care to look at. All she saw was the knife in his hand and she froze, all the colour draining from her face.

At the sharp intake of her breath, he looked up. His lips parted and, for a brief moment, he was speechless.

"Good heavens, Morgana, put some clothes on." Arthur's words as he came into the kitchen from behind her made her jump.

Arthur walked leisurely up to the man and picked up a slice of apple he had been cutting. Popping it into his mouth, Arthur said, "Morgana, this is Merlin. The man I told you about."

Morgana couldn't help but start, staring at the man – at Merlin. "You saved Arthur's life?"

Merlin blushed. “Accidentally.”

Arthur cuffed Merlin on the back of the head. “Shut up and make breakfast,” he said as he disappeared out the other door into the dining room.

“Yes, sir,” Merlin said mockingly after Arthur.

Morgana couldn’t help but smile, letting out a pleased laugh. It was nice to see that someone other than herself didn’t think Arthur was god’s gift to the world.

Merlin turned to her then and, eyes glancing down, blushed.

Morgana looked down at herself then, finally realising she was in nothing but her underwear. If she was any other girl, she might have been embarrassed. But she wasn’t. She was Morgana Pendragon and she’d been caught on camera in far less than her underwear a hundred times before.

Looking back up at him, Morgana demanded, “What you looking at?”

“Nothing,” Merlin said, quickly taking up another apple to chop it.

She came forward then and plucked it out of his hands. “Welcome to the staff,” she said as she headed towards the door.

As she stepped out of the kitchen, the knife glinted out of the corner of her eye as Merlin picked it up, hastily reminding her exactly who Merlin was.

***

The second time Morgana spoke to Merlin, she was out with Morgause.

Morgause was a family friend – if an estranged relative who wanted to take over Camelot Industries could be called a ‘friend’. However, she was Morgana’s best friend despite Morgause and Uther’s rocky relationship. They weren’t about to let a little high-class warfare get in the way of their friendship.

“You’ve really got to talk to someone about your obsession with fire,” Morgana said, laughing as the flame took to the drift wood. The flames bathed the dark beach with flickering orange light.

“And you, Morgana, need to laugh more,” Morgause said as she took a seat next Morgana on the rocks. “You’ve been quiet lately. Is something wrong?”

Morgana pursed her lips.

She couldn’t tell Morgause about her dreams any more than Arthur or Uther – although for different reason. While Arthur and Uther would send her to a doctor, Morgause would kill Merlin on sight. Morgana couldn’t have that because, impossibly, she was certain she was falling in love from him.

These past two weeks, having him so nearby, she couldn’t help but watch him. There was a dangerous edge to him, there was no denying that, but there was also a gentleness. And then there was his smile…

“Nothing’s wrong,” Morgana said. “I’m just tired.”

Morgause placed her hand on Morgana’s knee and smiled gently. “Dreams?”

Before Morgana could figure a way around Morgause’s question, a familiar voice asked through the darkness.

“Morgana?”

Morgana turned around to see Merlin coming through the tall, golden grass, dressed more appropriately than she was, as usual.

Seeing Morgause, he blushed and took a step back. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I’ll leave you two to-”

“Wait,” Morgause called after him calmly.

Morgana turned to stare at Morgause but Morgause ignored her and smiled at Merlin.

“Feel free to join us,” Morgause said.

“I really should be getting back to my uncle,” Merlin said. “I told him I’d come straight home from Gwen’s.”

“Always do what your uncle tells you?” Morgana couldn’t help but ask, grinning despite the usual shiver of fear that ran through her in his presence.

Merlin smiled at her. “Not always,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Morgana laughed and probably would have kept laughing if the feeling of Morgause’s eyes on her hadn’t made her stop.

Merlin quickly stopped smiling too and cleared his throat nervously. “Well, good night,” he said and hurried back the way he had come.

“Goodnight,” Morgause called pleasantly after him.

The moment he was out of sight, Morgause turned to Morgana and took up both of her hands. “Morgana, am I mistaken to think that you’re in love?”

Morgana looked down at their hands, blushing. “I think I am.”

***

The next time Morgana saw Merlin was at Uther’s party.

She was having a horrible night, partly due to the fact that most of the men at the party thought of her as something pretty to touch and the fact that they were celebrating Morgause’s downfall. One of Uther’s many private detectives had managed to dig up information about Morgause’s stint in the hospital when she was younger. Her fall from the top had not been gracious. She was still hiding out in her home, waiting for the paparazzi to leave. Morgana wanted to be there with her but she could hardly leave unnoticed now.

That was how she found herself curled up in the corner of the kitchen, crying.

She felt horrible, horrible because she should have seen this coming. She should have known Uther was this ruthless. She had seen him destroy people before but it had never occurred to her that he’d be so ruthless towards Morgause. Morgause was her friend and he was more or less a father to her. Apparently, that meant nothing to him. It broke her heart to realise that, all this time, despite the pretences, Uther didn’t love her at all. If he had, he would not have done this. If he had, he would have rather crashed and burned as royally as Morgause now was than do this. He did not love her and the realisation was killing her.

It was there that Merlin found her when he arrived in the middle of the night, undoubtedly called in by Arthur to attend to the need for finger food.

He didn’t see her at first but she saw him.

Seeing him, all she wanted to do was leap to her feet and run to him. She clamped her hand over her mouth and stayed still and invisible until Merlin turned the kitchen light on.

He jumped when he turned around and saw her in the corner. It was the startled look on his face more than anything that made her hurriedly get to her feet and wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“Are you alright?” he asked, still frozen by the light-switch.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Morgana lied.

Merlin eyed her sceptically and she forced a smile – a smile that quickly began to crumble under his gaze until she was crying once more.

He came towards her and took her in his arms. She felt so safe there that she just started telling him everything: about Morgause and her dreams and Uther’s ruthlessness. She told him everything she had ever kept hidden until there was nothing left. She expected him to pull away and call her crazy. Merlin just held her closer, whispering gently to her when her tears begun to overwhelm her.

When she was done, she found she was done with crying and feeling as if she had made herself seem like a right fool. She pulled away from Merlin, wiping at her tear-streaked face.

“I bet you think I’m mad,” she said.

“Not at all,” Merlin said, digging into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a handkerchief and held it out to her.

She took it gratefully. “Thank you,” she whispered as she attempted to make herself presentable to go back to the party. She guiltily admitted to herself that she would prefer to stay here with the man she had dreamt of killing her since she was old enough to remember her dreams than to go back to the party.

“Morgana, you shouldn’t keep all of this bottled up,” Merlin said.

“I know,” Morgana said, laughing. “It’s just that there’s no one I can talk to. Arthur would laugh me out of the room and Uther would have me medicated.”

“I have a friend: Gwen. She’s a psychiatrist,” Merlin said. “She’s more into talking to people than medicating them. Do you want me to give you her number?”

Morgana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “She’ll think I’m crazy.”

“She’s dealt with weirder people than you,” Merlin said, gently touching her cheek.

Morgana opened her eyes and looked into his. In the faint light, they looked like fire playing over liquid silver.

“Me being one of them,” Merlin said.

“You?” Morgana asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes, me,” Merlin said. “You’re not the only one who has strange dreams.”

Morgana drew in a sharp breath, pressing herself firmly back against the wall in fear. Her heart hammered inside of her chest and, instead of running away from him, she asked, “What kind of dreams?”

“Sad dreams,” Merlin said, his eyes clouding over with a haunted look, “of someone who looks exactly like you.”

“Sad dreams?” Morgana asked, taken off guard.

The clouds in Merlin’s eyes lifted as he looked her in the eyes. “Do you believe in past lives, Morgana?”

Confused, Morgana said, “I guess…”

“I didn’t. Not until I met you,” Merlin said. “You look exactly like her but you’re not her. She was… I don’t know. Someone from legends, I guess. And I loved her. Or whoever I was before loved her just like I…”

Morgana’s eyes widened.

Merlin smiled sadly and stepped away from her. “You should get back to the party,” he said.

The sound of the party seemed to reach her then: laughing men and women, drunk and pleased about destroying a woman’s life –Morgause’s life.

“I’d rather stay here,” Morgana said.

Merlin raised his eyebrow. “With the man you think is going to kill you?” he asked.

Morgana’s heart skipped a beat – but not in fear, although she knew that should be the reason. Her heart skipped a beat because of the way he was looking at her. It was if he hoped she’d tell him she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Quirking an eyebrow at him, Morgana said, “I can handle myself.”

Merlin laughed. “I’m certain you can,” he said, giving her a playful shove.

She reached up and stilled his hand against her shoulder. He froze, staring down at where her hand held his in place against the pale skin of her shoulder. She smiled as she watched him blush and, slowly, began to move his hand until it pushed the strap of her dress from her shoulder.

He glanced up at her. “Morgana-”

She pressed a finger against his lips, silencing him. “She loved you too,” she whispered. “That girl from your past life and, right now, her reincarnation really wants you to shut the hell up and kiss her.”

She placed a hand on his waist and pulled him closer until, finally, his hesitation gave way. Their lips met and every fear she had ever felt about him disappeared.

And, in that moment, Morgana believed in past lives because only something that took lifetimes to come together like this could be so completely and utterly perfect.


End file.
